The Passing

Don't you hate it when you have an awkward encounter with someone you're walking past? There are really any number of awkward situations that stem from this, so I'm gonna try to name a few in no particular order. The first one that comes to mind is the door hold. I personally enjoy holding doors open for people because it makes me feel like I'm doing a good deed. At the same time I don't just stand there all day holding the same door open. The unfortunate exchange I'm talking about is when you know there is someone behind you but he is that perfect distance away so that you don't know whether to hold the door for him or not. Once you get to the door you hesitate because you still haven't made your decision. At this point it's safer to hold the door because the hesitation has caused the person behind you to realize you considered holding the door, but if you don't do it then you seem like a jerk. The only problem is if you do this then it feels like you're holding the door for an awkward amount of time. This isn't a terrible encounter, but still annoying. Another walking situation that gets on my nerves is simply when you walk past someone you generically know and you are unsure how to greet him, if at all. This person is probably someone you had a group project with two years ago, is the friend of a friend you met at a party, or maybe someone you did a random community service project with. You know who he is and you're almost positive he knows who you are, but you probably don't remember each others names and don't know how to greet each other. When the two of you are about ten feet away you definitely make eye contact, but when the time comes to actually pass this individual you pretend like you didn't see him. Whether you turn your head the opposite direction, pretend to be in deep thought, or pull out your cell phone like you've just received a text message, you purposefully avoid the person. Again, not a huge deal: just really, really annoying. My advice is to just say, "hey." That way you're not ignoring him but you're not committing to a 15 minute conversation either. The final annoying passing I can think of is when you make eye contact with someone you don't know. Each of you just so happens to look over at the same time and you stare into each others eyes for the second and a half that you're passing each other, but no one does anything. It's just an awkward feeling. I honestly cannot express how many times I've made an awkward smile at someone because I don't want to give him a cold, hard stare. After the fact I usually feel like an idiot because he probably just whispered to his friend, "did you see the way that kid smiled at me? Weird." Oh well, worse things have happened. I guess just to summarize the easiest way out of these awkward situations is to just be courteous. Take that extra second to hold the door, say hi to the person you might not know too well, and if you're gonna smile, try to make it as normal as possible.

Until next time,

Zac

The Automated Voice

Don't you hate it when you are forced to deal with an automated voice? Last January I accidentally left my National City debit card in the ATM machine. Thankfully technology allowed the ATM to swallow the card before some criminal could steal it. Regardless, I proceeded to call the toll free National City phone number to cancel my account and order my new debit card. I listened to an automated voice for over ten minutes and that is no exaggeration. I understand that it might be more fiscally responsible for these companies to use automated voices, but at the same time I am a huge supporter of customer service and the automated voices really irritate me. I consider myself a patient customer and primarily rate a company on the level of customer service it provides. Back to the automated voices. I don't know what bothers me most about the automated voices: the tone, the delay, or the repetitiveness. The tone is barely enough to keep me awake while I'm listening. Sometimes the delay is so long that I think there has been a phone disconnection. I feel like the repetitiveness speaks for itself. If you slip on the keypad and hit the wrong digit, you go through the same three minute introduction that you just experienced. Another thing that bothers me is that the automated voice only offers Spanish as an alternate language. If your company is going to offer Spanish, please offer French, German, Dutch, and every other language that people speak. At this point, I want the people who comment to finish this entry. Finish it how I would, finish it how you would, do what you please. Have fun with it and thanks for reading.

Until next time,

Zac

The One-Upper

Don't you hate having a conversation with that person who ALWAYS finds a way to one-up you? I'm gonna try to keep this brief as this is a topic I honestly think I could discuss for hours. As I sit here trying to think of specific examples of this type of person, my brain is filled with so many that it's difficult to process them all. If you can't think of a one-upper in your life (which is highly doubtful) or don't know what one is, let me explain; the one-upper is always better than you. Your house has 3 bedrooms and his has 4. You know someone who won $1,000 on the lottery and he knows someone who won $10,000. You scored a 90 on your psychology test and he scored a 95. No matter what you say, he says something bigger and better. The first thing that bothers me about this person is that he thinks he is the coolest thing since sliced bread when in reality he's not. No one is. He somehow feels better about himself by indirectly putting other people down. I honestly don't believe if he is trying to hurt the other person or if he somehow justifies his actions as building himself up. In reality, I think most people who are intelligent and independent enough to think for themselves realize what the one-upper is doing and either don't believe what he says in that specific instant and/or discredits this person as a legitimate source in general. There are at least a few one-uppers I can think of off the top of my head and I take almost everything they say with a grain of salt. Fortunately I wouldn't consider most of my closest friends one-uppers so I'm not surrounded by this type of person too often. The times I am however, I have little patience for it. Usually I'll be in a social setting and a friend of a friend or a generic friend will be the one-upper. As tempted as I am to call him out on it, that would mean that my discrediting of him would be just as immature and disrespectful as his initial put down. As Ghandi said, "an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind" so that is no solution to the problem. My solution is usually to try and change the subject or just walk away from the conversation. I have better things to do than sit there and listen to how he knows more about agriculture than us "city folk" just because he grew up with a few animals and vegetables in his backyard. Another specific example I'm thinking of is my friend who thinks he is enormous. All he ever talks about is how big he is. Don't get me wrong, he's bigger than the average Joe but he's no Andre the Giant. Get over it, you're bigger than the average man. If that's the best thing you have going for you then you should pursue a career in the NFL or NBA because the last time I checked there are no size expectations for doctors, lawyers, or most careers that people pursue. One of the other things that bothers me about the one-upper is the fact that rarely do you meet someone who is better than you at every single thing you both do. In fact, I will go as far to say as it's almost not possible. No one is ever the best at everything. With that being said, the one-upper is usually lying about at least one thing. Taking all of these things into account, I wonder how the one-upper expects us to take him seriously. Like I said before, I take each one-upper statement with a grain of salt and I encourage each of you to do so also. When encountering the one-upper in the future, try your best to remain patient and realize that there are others who agree that he is a bullsh*t salesman with a mouth full of samples.

Until next time,

Zac

The Borrower

Don't you hate it when you loan someone something and it takes what seems like an excessive period of time for him to return it? I don't mind loaning people things, but if I am loaning you something I expect you to get it back to me within a reasonable time period. Now, each individual has his own threshold of what he deems a reasonable time period. Depending on the loaned item and reason for the loan my threshold varies, but if the borrowing period exceeds a month then I usually become irritated. The easiest example of this that comes to mind is money. I don't mind loaning people money because I've borrowed my fair share of money in my lifetime, specifically last year around this time when I was studying abroad in Scotland. At the same time though, there has to be some level of decency involved. I know of at least a few people who are notorious for either not paying people back for an extended period of time or simply not paying people back at all. He is the same person who, when you ask for your money, is "waiting on a paycheck." He's also drinking the pricey beer on the weekends or taking his girlfriend out to a expensive dinner on a random Tuesday night. Not to say that these people aren't what I would consider good people or positive contributors to society; they just really suck at paying people back. In my eyes, one should pay one's debts before spending money on the things that aren't necessary, such as exotic alcohols or fancy dinners. That's just my opinion though. After speaking with a few women I've discovered an additional example that I believe bothers women more than men, but nonetheless probably still occurs with men. This situation specifically involves the borrowing of one's clothes. From my conversations with these women, the primary annoyance occurs when they loan someone an article of clothing then a few weeks later see that person wearing the article of clothing again. You've spent hours looking for this shirt that you swore you brought up to school, but your search was in vain and you somehow convince yourself that you took it home last weekend even though deep down something tells you that's not true. Then, sure enough, you walk into the Commons (cafeteria) on a Tuesday afternoon for lunch and you see that little weasel wearing your shirt again! You don't want to confront them about it as to seems like you're being rude, but at the same time you want that shirt back. That's not unreasonable at all. My attitude is that something is borrowed for a specific purpose. Once that purpose is fulfilled, return the item. It's exactly why DVD rental stores and libraries have return dates. He needs the items back to loan out once again. Now, I understand that individual people usually don't use their items in the same capacity as a DVD rental store in terms of loaning, but they probably want the items back for personal use. I guess as long as I get the item back in the long run it usually doesn't bother me too much, but it's still something that I view as inconsiderate an annoying. I did you a favor by loaning you something and the least you can do is return it in a timely fashion. Taking that into account, I don't want this to seem like a personal attack to those who have borrowed, are currently borrowing, or hope to borrow from me in the future. Just return my stuff within a month if possible lol.

Until next time,

Zac

The High School Run-In

Don't you hate it when you run into those generic friends/acquaintances from high school? There are about 15-20 people with whom I graduated who I still consider my friends and enjoy socializing with while I'm at college and also home on breaks. With the exception of these 20 people, I don't really wanna talk to you. It sounds harsh, but that's my stance on the situation and I would believe most people feel the same way. Yeah there are those people in high school that you may have had their phone number and randomly hung out with them at some point or another. That was great in high school, but now it's a probably a non-existent relationship. I'm gonna present a situation to you and to try and describe what I'm talking about if you haven't already been able to relate to it. This happens to me probably once per break and a couple times in the summer, so about half a dozen times a year. I will be at the mall with my brother or friend or maybe just walking around by myself, when from a distance I see someone that I think I graduated with. I probably haven't seen them in a couple years which allows enough time for them to change their appearance. Also, I graduated with over 350 people so I had a difficult time recognizing some of these people during high school. As you approach each other from opposite ends in the long corridor of the mall, you begin to recognize the person as generic friend/acquaintance. Someone you knew in high school but weren't close enough with or didn't really care to maintain the bond of a real, legitimate friendship. This is where you have to develop a plan of attack. I usually try to avoid conversation at all costs so my usual strategies are in no particular order: 1) turn around, right, or left without being obvious about avoiding him or 2) find a safe haven such as a restroom or a store. Both of these options do however still carry a risk. With the first option you could turn a different direction and be staring in the face of yet another generic high school person. That would be really unfortunate. Additionally, with the second option you are completely cornering yourself either in the restroom or store so both options carry their own risk. If you decide against attempting to avoid the person in those manners, you now have a secondary list of options. These include, in no particular order: 1) as you walk past you can pull the whole "I'm talking on my cell phone" routine (most of us have done it), 2) walk past with your head down or 3) walk past in a brisk fashion like you're quickly traveling somewhere and give him a generic smile or head nod accompanied with a "hey" that you would possibly give any random person that you make awkward eye contact with, and play it off like you don't recognize him. If all of these fail, you're screwed. Sometimes I freeze in these situations and find myself getting stuck in an unfortunate conversation with somebody who doesn't really care about the answers to the questions he's asking. He's asking the questions because that's what people do in these situations, not because he's legitimately interested. Examples of these questions are, "what's your major again?" or "are you still dating (insert name of generic high school boyfriend/girlfriend)?" The question I can't stand the most is, "wait where do you go to school again?" Honestly? Okay, I can see forgetting your friend's major because I don't know all of my closest friend's majors, but forgetting where I go to school is bad. That is when you know they really don't care about maintaining the friendship after high school. These situations can easily be avoided by staying out of public places and moving far from home at the conclusion of college. This is no guarantee that these situations will be entirely avoided, however. My sister Meg, who was recently on her honeymoon in Mexico (and also provided me with the idea for this entry), saw and had an awkward encounter with two of her husband's former classmates. Sorry for the awkward experience Meg, but I'm glad it generated another annoying occurrence that could strike when you truly least expect it.

Until next time,

Zac

The Cell Phone User

Don't you hate it when someone fails to follow cell phone etiquette or constantly uses his cell phone in public? I'm first going to mention that I've been guilty of both of these things and for that I am not proud of myself. It's a flaw of mine that I try to improve as much as I can because I feel like there is an appropriate time and place for cell phone use. I guess each person has his own idea of cell phone etiquette, but I believe that most people follow a general protocol. For example, I cannot stand it when I'm sitting in church right about to say the lord's prayer and I hear "Juicy" by Notorious B.I.G. As much as I love that song, I want to hear it on a Friday night when I'm hanging out with my friends and not when I'm trying to connect with my god. If listening to Lady Gaga helps you connect with your God then more power to you, but please do it on your own time and be respectful of the other people in the public place of worship. Another place where having your ring tone on is inappropriate would be in a meeting. There a fewer things I can stand less than when someone at a meeting is speaking and proceeds to be interrupted by "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga or some other loud ring tone. If not silent, at the very least one should put his cell phone on vibrate. I understand that in some extreme circumstances people will have family emergencies or something along those lines, but more often than not people keep their cell phones ringers on for convenience. More than being annoying though, I think these people are acting disrespectfully. It won't kill you to not use your cell phone for an hour or two, so try it out sometime. Most of the church services and meetings I attend last less than an hour and I personally find it relaxing to NOT have my cell phone with me during those times. In today's fast-paced and always connected society it's actually nice to have some time to yourself and allow yourself the opportunity to not be contacted. A final example that really gets on my nerves is in the movie theater. I came to the movie theater to watch the movie in the dark because it adds to the experience to me. This is especially terrible during a suspenseful or frightening part of the film. Someone lighting up the theater with his cell phone and clicking on buttons really takes away from the movie experience that I paid for. Personally, it's tough for me to concentrate on the movie when I'm surrounded by people sending text messages and on occasion answering a phone call. If it's so important that you must answer, please step outside and have respect for the other people in the theater.

An additional cell phone habit that I find frustrating is when someone is constantly using his cell phone in public. If someone is using it non-stop in a private venue then I don't really care because he's privately by himself and I don't even know the difference. In public though I just find it to be annoying. Many of us have probably experienced a time when we're randomly hanging out with friends and EVERYONE in the room is sending a text message except for you. Not only do you feel like you're the loser with no friends other than the ones you're sitting with, but you can't even have a conversation with someone because everyone is too busy sending a text message. It's just downright rude. Let me reiterate that I send text messages while I'm hanging out with my friends, but I try not to be excessive about it. Yes, we all have our own versions of "excessive" but I can barely stand when I'm trying to have a conversation with someone and he is text messaging then when he's done sending his message he looks up and goes, "what? Sorry I was texting." That is so frustrating to me. A related frustrating example is when you see someone in passing and you hear him say a generic phrase like, "hey how's it goin" and you respond because you think he's talking to you, but you then realize he's talking on his phone. This occurs more often with blue toothes (blue teeth? I honestly don't know but I feel stupid typing the word toothes) than with regular cell phones, but it still occurs with regular cell phones. This situation is similar to the misinterpreted wave I discussed in an earlier entry. It's nothing major but just an unfortunate social failure that makes you feel like an idiot. Oh well, worse things could happen. Having that in mind, please try to use courteous cell phone etiquette in the future and maybe turn your phone off once in while when you're at a social gathering. After all, what were you doing 10 years ago when most people didn't have cell phones? Exactly what you should have been doing: socializing with the people around you.

Until next time,

Zac

The Foreign Language Speaker

Don't you hate it when bilingual speakers who you know speak English speak a foreign language in a public venue? Now before anyone jumps down my throat and calls me culturally insensitive or ignorant, allow me to explain myself. Imagine you're on a bus or in an elevator. You just finished speaking with a foreign exchange student in English. He proceeds to turn to another foreign exchange student and they begin an extensive dialogue in an arbitrary foreign language. Come on. You were just speaking English to me and now you're speaking a foreign language that I don't speak right in front of me so I can't help but be suspicious that you're talking about me. Regardless of whether you are or not I have every right to suspect that you are or else you could have just continued speaking in English. If you're isolated with other people who speak that language it's a different story because everyone within listening distance understands you. For some reason though, when people do it on a bus or in an elevator it really peeves me off. I just feel disrespected by it. I mean, I understand that you're in an unfamiliar location and sure it's nice to talk in your native tongue but at the same time it's rude. You were just speaking to me in English so don't change it up like you have something to hide. It's kind of like whispering in public. You are only whispering because you have something to hide or you want people to think you have something to hide. A similar situation for me would be if I was having a casual conversation about a new scientific discovery with two physicists, then all of a sudden they start talking about quantum mechanics or particle physics. Part of me feels like they do it because they KNOW it's something you won't understand. Who knows, they might really be in love with the fact that they know something that you don't and by speaking in that foreign language feel better about themselves. Again, I'd like to reiterate that I don't lose sleep about this situation. It's pretty much I walk off the elevator and think to myself, "that was really annoying" and that's the end of it. I might mention it to a friend later, which isn't unlike the other situations I've discussed in this blog. If it doesn't really annoy you then don't worry about it but I'll certainly be on the lookout for the foreign language speaker in the future.

With that being said I'd like to thank my brother for the idea behind this entry. He randomly texted me last week with this idea for the blog. Thanks Jord.

Keep providing me with ideas everyone! The more material I have to chose from the more I can provide you with the best entries, so please continue to comment!

Until next time,

Zac